We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
