I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
