No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
