I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
