I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
