I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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