just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
