the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
