Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
