my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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