i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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