just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
