I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I want is dick and wine.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
This toilet bowl is my home.
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