So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
