i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
