I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
operation harelip BJ is a go
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
