My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
