anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
