It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
