fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
