What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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