There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
