Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
