i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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