Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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