She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
