At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
