You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
