I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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