Just cropdusted the office
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
