If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
