Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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