Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
