12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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