hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
