on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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