Just fell off a train. Bad.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
