can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
