I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
