you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
