Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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