well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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