I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
