Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
