You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
