This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
