everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
