your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
