you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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