she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Too much gin, very little bucket
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
