Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
