I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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