My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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