Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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