do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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