woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Houston, we have a blender
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
