im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
