My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
