just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
