I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
