Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
